There is no question that the state of dating and where people are finding love in 2024 looks different than 2004. Over 50% of people are finding relationships and love online.
In 2024, I decided to dive headfirst into the world of online dating.
It was a bold move for someone who has always been a bit skeptical of finding love through a screen.
If you would have told me a year, 5, or 10 years ago, I would experience this and share it, I would have called you crazy.
Yet, here I am armed with a sense of adventure and a couple of upgrades, I embarked on a journey that would lead me to explore new connections and experiences.
Before I joined the world of online dating, I intentionally focused on healing and purpose. I set an intention with dating with intention leading from friendship to purpose and passion partners with the goals of engagement and marriage.
I read romance and dating online resources from sources including Rachel Sherill @the_true_feminine_, Glo Atanmo @glographics, Matthew Hussey, and RC Blakes, Jr.
I am so grateful for prayer, intention and these resources that are helping me navigate an adventure in modern romance. I am sharing insight and information while protecting the privacy of people.
My First Time on Dating Apps
As someone that is a traditional dater meeting people in real life prior to 2024, dating online is definitely an experience.
I don't know if I will find love online or in real life. I am open to either. What I do know, is that dating online provides intention, selection, validation, and an easier ability to set a process and take your time than sometimes in real life has for me.
The Apps: Tinder Passport and Bumble
To kickstart my journey, I chose two of the most popular dating apps: Tinder and Bumble. Both apps offer unique features and user experiences, and I opted for some premium upgrades to maximize my chances of finding a meaningful connection.
I joined Tinder Passport the very end of April in Bali.
Tinder Passport
Tinder Passport allows you to swipe and match with people all over the world. When you upgrade with Tinder on respective plans, you may see who likes you first.
This feature was particularly appealing to me as it opened up a global pool of potential matches. It felt exhilarating to connect with people from different cultures and backgrounds, broadening my horizons beyond my local dating scene in Bali at the time (and as a Creator CEO traveling the world).
Bumble
On Bumble, I upgraded as well, which lets you see who has already liked you.
These upgrade features on apps save a lot of time and uncertainty. Knowing that someone had already shown interest may give the confidence to initiate conversations, making the whole process smoother and more enjoyable. I did like some without seeing if they liked me first.
Dating Coaches and Advice
Navigating the dating world can be daunting, so I sought guidance from some renowned dating coaches you may have heard of.
You will find my dating resources are a blend of female and male intentionally with relationships and results I desire.
The One University
I connected with Jamal and Natasha and The One University cerca 2017 and dove in two times. The curriculum focuses on Getting Whole, Getting a Date and Getting Married. Through their program, I learned about coaches and people like Kait Tomlin and The Heart of Dating Show.
Rachel Sherrill (@the_true_feminine_)
Rachel’s perspective on feminine energy and attracting the right partner provided a refreshing and empowering approach to dating. I started listening to Rachel about 1-2+ years ago via The Heart of Dating Show. I felt deeply aligned and connected to femininity focus.
Glo @glographics Love at First Swipe
Glo’s advice on creating authentic connections and being yourself resonated deeply with me. I have followed her Creator CEO and globe trotting adventures for 3+ years. I love that we aligned via communities I share in my 75+ Tips, Tools and Tech including Brendon Burchard and travel communities.
In Love at First Swipe, her journey and tips on profile creation and conversation starters and screening are priceless.
I love that she found her love with Stefan online and they co-create passion and purpose all over the world. All of the authenticity deeply resonates with me.
Matt Hussey - How to Get the Guy
Matthew Hussey is a British dating coach, YouTube personality, and author known for his expertise in relationship advice. I discovered Matthew on YouTube and love his relatable and vulnerable approach as a high quality masculine man in a marriage.
He gained popularity through his appearances on television shows and his book "Get the Guy," which provides insights and strategies for women to attract and keep a romantic partner. I have listened to his book on Audible 2x in 2024.
RC Blakes Jr
RC Blakes Jr. is a pastor, author, and motivational speaker known for his teachings on personal development, relationships, and spiritual growth.
I have easily listened to 25+ YouTube videos from RC Blakes Jr and his books Queenology and Father Daughter Talk.
He is like the father many of us never had when it comes to relationships.
Dr Tony Evans
Dr. Tony Evans is a prominent pastor, author, and speaker known for his teachings on Christian living and biblical principles. I discovered Dr Tony Evans via his daughter Priscilla Shirer, and Bible Studies.
In early 2023, I devoured his Kingdom Series on Audible. He has written several books on the concept of the "Kingdom," which explore the principles of God's kingdom and their application in daily life. These books include "Kingdom Man," "Kingdom Woman," "Kingdom Disciples," and "Kingdom Agenda." These works emphasize living according to God's will, understanding one's identity in Christ, and applying biblical truths to personal and communal life.
Allison Armstrong - Queen Code
In 2024, a lot of my souls desire and yearning has been to explore feminity further. I am not surprised that a new friend Sophie I met in Bali recommended Allison Armstrong who is a renowned author, speaker, and educator who specializes in understanding the complexities of male-female relationships.
She wrote an incredible book "Queen's Code," it focuses on transforming the way women interact with men, aiming to foster respect and understanding. I have listened to the book 2x in 2024.
Janelle Lynnae Dating Coach for Women
Janelle Lynnae is a dating coach specializing in helping women navigate the complexities of modern dating. She focuses on faith-based alignment, empowering women to build confidence, set healthy boundaries, and attract meaningful relationships.
I found her on IG via Jamie Sea with Cash Flow Confidential. I love her IG, read her book Next Level Confident, and tuned in to her Masterclass last year. I dived into her Attract Your Husband Course in 2024 now twice.
So you may understand with the past several. years on focus on healing, wisdom, and purpose, I felt ready to start an adventure in romance.
I am definitely a party of 1 ready to be a party of 2.
Creating the Perfect Profile for Dating Apps
Creating a profile that stood out was my first challenge.
Here are some tips that helped me along the way:
Choose Clear, Recent Photos
Use high-quality photos that show you in your best light. A mix of solo shots and photos showcasing purpose and doing activities you love give a well-rounded impression of who you are.
Here are highlights of some of my Dating App Pics in 2024.
Ladies and Gentlemen, you will note there are no bikini or fitness competition pics.
Write a Genuine Bio
Be honest and concise. Highlight your interests, intentions, and what you’re looking for in a partner.
A touch of personality makes your profile more engaging.
Showcase Your Personality
Your profile is your chance to show potential matches what makes you unique. Don’t be afraid to let your personality shine through.
Setting Intentions
Before diving into swiping, I set clear intentions for my time on these apps. I was looking for meaningful connections, whether that led to a serious relationship or just meeting interesting people along the way. Being upfront about my intentions in my profile helped filter out those who were looking for something different.
What Happened my First Week on Dating Apps
After joining Tinder Passport, I received 300 incoming likes within the first three hours.
I am both flattered and overwhelmed to receive over 300 likes within the first three hours. It was a mix of gratification and sheer bewilderment that left me both excited and apprehensive about what lay ahead.
Thankfully my phone is always silent and no notifications. When I logged back in the app a few hours later, I saw the 300 men to look through as possible matches.
Seeing those numbers climb so quickly was undeniably gratifying. It felt like validation of not only are there amazing men out there, but they definitely like me. Many of the men that did like me and/or messaged me gave me validation of my profile, and a testament to the effort I put into presenting my best self internally and externally.
Filtering Men on Dating Apps
With the help of my own divine direction, wisdom gathered, I developed a strategy for filtering potential matches that may apply to both males and females.
Being Selective
Rather than swiping right on everyone, I focused on profiles of people that genuinely intrigued me.
This meant immediately ignoring and/or swiping left on men that did not have their real name, showcased poor photos and/or no bio, wanted short term aka hook-up, shirtless in majority of their pics, cigarette smoking or sitting with a chain tiger.
Yes, I have seen all of this and more on dating apps in 2024.
Observe Communication
If something genuinely sparks my attention and interest, I engage just like I would on social media or in real life. If I am in the middle of something or simply don't do it in the moment, sometimes I go back or sometimes I wait for the man to initate. I would say I practice a 75% waiting on the man / 25% initiating ratio more or less.
When I do start conversations, I clearly interact with something from their photo and/or their bio that aligns with my passions or purpose to help make conversation easy and effortless.
I observe if they do the same and how intentional they are and I ask intentional questions. I create my own that align to intentional dating and intimacy and flow with the conversation. In addition, the resources. I shared earlier share many.
Trust Your Instincts
If something felt off, I didn’t hesitate to unmatch and move on.
After filtering and leading to aligned initial conversations and connections, within my first month on dating apps internationally in Bali, I went on 4 dates.
First Dates on Dating Apps
After some initial conversations and matches, I ended up scheduling first dates with four
interesting bachelors. Here’s the highlights on the dates.
Bachelor 1 European in Bali
The first man I connected with on a dating app validated a respectful high quality man that is a great first experience on a dating app for my first encounter with dating online and anyones.
We connected with engaging and interesting conversations on the app for a few days, transitioned to WhatsApp, and had our first date at a restaurant in Ubud, Bali.
He set the reservations, let me know he was running late, and even pre-ordered my meal for me before I arrived. We spoke about both intentional questions and let the conversation flow and laughed a lot. He has lived in Bali from a country in Europe for about three years.
We went on a second/third date all in the same day about a week or so later with hiking at two waterfalls in North Bali, and an incredible restaurant experience in Ubud, Bali.
The second date we co-organized an experienced online for the Waterfalls. He paid for everything on all the dates without hesitation. I did offer one time. We almost had a fourth experience in Bali before I left after my first two months in Bali.
At the same time. I am feeling friend vibes which is 100% okay. The dates all stayed platonic other than hugs. I set the intention to be friends first to set the foundation.
Bachelor 2: South American/American in Bali
The second Bachelor piqued my interest from a South American country I visited in 2022 initially. However, within the first chat on the dating app, a red flag was raised with the intentionality and speed of getting to the date. I pulled back.
Later, we continued to chat and I thought all aligned. After reflecting, I experienced a second and third red flag, when he rescheduled the initial date and then did not contact me in advance after I asked him to the next day. In addition, he asked me to go 2+ hours to meet him briefly after a wellness treatment and before a business meeting. I nicely and calmly told him that would not work for me.
The day of our date he shifted the time 2x. After further reflection, I realized I should have simply gone and done something else and not replied. At the same time, I was curious. I realized where curiousity is not a great thing especially when it impedes on worthiness, boundaries, and value.
We ended up meeting at a smoothie bowl spot with a great conversation and hug. He paid for the date. Afterwards, I text him thank you and that I enjoyed it and felt good. He messaged me the fourth and final red flag. I did not miss this one. He asked me to possibly come stay at his villa in Bali or in Europe. I calmly replied thank you for the invitation, but I don't feel comfortable with that. He never replied.
Buh-Bye or Boy Bye.
Bachelor 3: Professional Project Manager from Asia in Bali
His profile showcased active, athletic and professional pics and bio with an interesting background between Asia and UK and Bali. Our conversation flowed beautifully from the app to WhatsApp to his setting up a date within the first week and asking for my feedback.
So far, so good.
He then shared his photo on WhatsApp, which looked like him but with a longer beard and older by 3-5+ years ish.
We ended up going on a date on a rooftop pool late afternoon for two hours ish. We did have a great convo, food, and went swimming. We hugged and I thanked him after. I felt more aligned to friend vibes long term.
Bachelor 4: Intriguing American In Bali for 1+ Years in Wedding Industry
His profile showcased high quality photos, engaging smile, and beautifully written bio. We matched both on Tinder and on Bumble (I tested Bumble in June too). The first few days or week or so we talked about alignments with Poland, Bulgaria, and Austria.
He is the first person I have met that has been to all three European countries my family is connected to! The second ish week we talked more on the apps, and transitioned to WhatsApp easily, and found we aligned on many things including intentions, our parents marriage stories and lessons learned, love languages, communication style, love of adventure, and mindset.
He expressed direct communication and we almost had a date the weekend before I was leaving Bali. "However, he let me know he wasn't feeling well and expressed he definitely wanted to meet before I left and waiting till October would be too long (at the time I didn't have plans to return until October ish for my retreat - I did let him know I might come August or sooner).
He set a coffee date two days before I was leaving. When I saw him, I definitely felt an alignment, attraction and availability and being in the presence of a healthy masculine man all around. For those curious about external appearance, he looked even better in person than the pics.
During the date, we talked even more during the date talked about even more and laughed a lot.
We did both talk about not wanting to like each other too much too soon.
I was somewhat surprised and disappointed he did not continue communication after I left Bali and asked about a recent event he led. For me, intention and communication e.g. in real life, video, phone is important if their is interest in continuing further. So, maybe he is or isn't.
For me, him not communicating is answer enough. If he reaches out in the future, I will curiously ask why he did stop communicating. I do understand why he might have. At the same time, I will express my desires and what makes me happy for intentional dating and romantic relationship (I did update my bio with some points after this experience).
What I do love in this experience is I am learning so much about myself, healing as I date, and each man is getting better and better.
First Time on Dating Apps in 2024
My first time on Dating Apps in 2024 has been an exciting journey of self-discovery and connection. From exploring the world through Tinder Passport to confidently initiating conversations on Bumble,
I've learned a lot about myself and what I seek in a purposeful partner. The guidance from dating coaches like Rachel, Glo, Alison, Janelle, Matt Hussey, RC Blakes JR and the others is invaluable in the adventure of modern romance.
As I continue this journey, I'm excited to see where it leads and the new connections I will make along the way. Whether you're a seasoned swiper or a newbie like me, remember to stay true to yourself, set clear intentions, be safe, and enjoy yourself on your way to finding your hearts desire.
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